I confess that I am a scaredy-cat in a family of thrill seekers. Almost 20 years ago I married a bold, seemingly fearless, risk-seeking, adventurous man who follows this mantra, and I quote, “The most terrifying experiences in life are the most fun!” It seems our children take after him for the most part – always doing things that terrify their mother … who does not associate fun with feeling scared.
There are many examples of this, but a few: I do not like scary movies or books, and I do not like people jumping out of nowhere to scare me. Unlike my family, I do not enjoy sliding down the side of a snowy mountain at ridiculous speeds with two skinny sticks stuck to my feet. Another thing I tried, but absolutely did not enjoy, was riding a road bike with tires as thin as pencils, my feet clamped to the pedals, and giant vehicles coming at me from both directions. Nope. Just terrifying.
Sometimes it feels like I’m afraid of everything. I easily go to the worst-case-scenario. And don’t even get me started on the fears that come with motherhood. Goodness. There is not enough time. So many questions and what ifs that stem from fear.
I know that even you risk-seekers out there, as crazy as you seem to me, have fear and anxiety too. Maybe it shows up less than me or just in different ways, but everyone is afraid sometimes; everyone is anxious sometimes.
One quick recent mom-fear story ~ We live in Wyoming now, and we have horses and cows, as many in Wyoming do. The other day the cows got out, and we needed to round them up and get them back where they needed to be. Josh and I were about to saddle up and go get them when our younger daughter asked if she could come help too.
I hesitated, knowing how I can be when we ride together. I can get so tense and constantly worried about her and her horse, and me being tense makes my horse tense, and the whole experience is just tense and exhausting. In reality, she’s a better rider than I am. She’s been riding horses since she was 4. But before Wyoming, she rode in a different style, in an enclosed arena with an instructor. Out here on real horses instead of lesson horses (I know lesson horses are real horses, but follow my mom-heart here), the fears and worse-case scenarios come flooding quickly.
So where does the good news come in? How did I let go of fear and anxiety and let her go do her cowgirl thing with her dad? (which she did, she did awesome, and she loved every second of it). What helps when the fears and anxieties creep in?
Here are a few things that have helped me. For one, breathe. Intentional breathing exercises help in a literal, physiological way. A deep inhale through the nose, pause at the top, another short quick inhale, and then slowly exhale through the mouth. Repeat 3 times. I don’t know all the science behind it, but it can reduce blood pressure, reduce heart rate, reduce stress hormones and lactic acid, and even more stuff that happens in your brain that I don’t fully understand. But how cool is that? Just by breathing our bodies can be calmed.
And for our hearts? God’s Word, Prayer, and Faith.
I’ve recently started combining both of these, the physiological and the spiritual, after hearing Sissy Goff on the She Reads Truth podcast. She called them “breath prayers.” You choose a verse you know and recite it in your mind as you inhale and exhale. The verse that works best for me is my MaMaw’s verse, Psalm 56:3. I call it her verse because every one of her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids were taught this verse by her. She would remind us of it often. She wrote it on every card. I will always be able to hear her voice saying it and picture it written in her handwriting: “What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.”
It is encouraging to me, a scaredy-cat, to think that this is the verse she clung to her whole life. Mamaw … who seemed to me to be such a strong woman of faith, content in every season, trusting in the Lord and His goodness no matter what … struggled with fear. She needed to remind her soul often, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.”
So as I breathe deep: “What time I am afraid…” *pause and quick breath again*
Exhale: “I will trust in Thee.”
Some other verses that work well for me with this breathing practice:
“Be still and know” …….. “That He is God”
“I call on you, my God” …….. “For You will answer me.”
“I lift my eyes” …. “To the Maker of Heaven and Earth”
“Show me the way I should go” .……. “for to You I entrust my life.”
It’s straight from His Word, which is “powerful and effective.” It is prayer, which brings me confidently to the throne of God. And It is putting my faith into practice.
God’s Word – Prayer – Faith. These turn the scaredy-cat into a lion … a worrier into a warrior.
The enemy will often use fear as a weapon against believers, but Paul taught that God’s Word is our sword and our faith is our shield against whatever attack may come. I also have the helmet of salvation, covering my mind, my doubts, my fears. I have the breastplate of righteousness by Jesus’ blood covering my heart. The belt of truth holds me together and keeps me upright, and I carry the good news of the gospel of peace.
I might not find joy in or choose to participate in some of the riskier experiences life offers, but when it comes down to it, I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. If He calls me to something scary, I can be bold.
Ultimately, I love that my family is adventurous and always seeking new experiences together. We called this the “Wheels Up Family” blog for that reason – keeping a “Wheels Up”, as in “Let’s Go!” type of attitude in life. Sometimes our Wheels Up experiences are scary for me, but I’ve personally added a little phrase that helps me. “Eyes Up.” When I’m afraid – Eyes Up – to the One who holds it all. Eyes Up – to my good Father who loves me and loves our children more than we could imagine.
Lord, help me remember. “What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.”
